Have you earned a shoulder to cry on?

Today’s English
July 2nd, 2017

When life is a bed of roses for somebody, we ask for a treat.  When life is a bed of thorns, we feel sympathy for them.  We generally become speechless, when misfortunes knock at somebody’s door in the form of death, accident, incurable disease, financial loss, failures, punishment, dismissal, suspension and so on. How to sympathize with someone and the English expressions related to them are our little concern today.

1.Empathy or sympathy?

Empathy refers to “the ability to understand and share others' feelings"  but sympathy means “to feel sorry for the suffering of someone at their misfortune."

A.I feel sympathy for the victims in the fire accident.
B.I feel empathy for you (=I understand your situation) but I have no money.
C.We have no sympathy for her, it’s all her own fault.
D.They felt empathy with him and helped him complete the work.
E.I don’t want anybody’s sympathy. Leave me alone.
F.Her suspension/death/failure aroused great sympathy from all staff members.

2.Pay homage or express condolence?

You can pay homage to somebody to show your respect both at their achievements/visit and at their death. But Condolence is used only in the meaning of “sympathy at somebody’s death”

A.Let us express our deep condolences to our manager who passed away this morning.
B.She sent a message of condolence on WhatsApp at her death.
C.We paid homage to the minister at the time of his visit to our place.
D.Let’s pay homage to her for the rest of her soul.
E.He pays homage to no one. (=he shows respect to no one.)

3.Take pity on somebody/ feel pity for = to feel sympathy at somebody’s suffering or trouble but not at their death.

A.I took pity on him and lent him the money he needed.
B.I beg you to have pity on him.
C.It’s a pity that people have more time for whatsapp and Facebook but no time to talk to their loved one nearby.

4.Regret, repent or console?
Regret means you feel sorry for something you have done or you have not done that you should have done. But repent denotes feeling sorry for the grave wrongs  you have done, mostly in spiritual contexts.  On the other hand, console is used in the sense “to comfort somebody who is unhappy about something”

A.I regret what I said. / I regret how I behaved before you.
B.We regret the inconveniences caused to you by not supplying the goods on time.
C.I repented of my sins in my young age.
D.Nobody could console him when his wife died.
E.I’m sorry to hear that you failed in the exam. Better luck next time. (Consoling)

5.A shoulder to cry on = to have someone to console you and share your feelings

A.Please stay with me. I need a shoulder to cry on.
B.When I was tortured there, I had no shoulder to cry on.

“Such actions are beyond praise: it is the perfume of such sweet and noble human sympathy that makes this wild beasts' cage a world habitable for men.”
-Frank Harris, “Oscar Wilde”