Assessment on Writing Skill

Sample writing:

“Say Goodbye to Plastics “

To think of plastic-free world is a joy for ever.  Men may go and men may come but plastics once used will go on for ever as a threat to living and non-living things on earth. Plastic spoils the soil to a great extent that the earth becomes bankrupt of all its properties.  See the sea,  plastic waste makes it unfit for its own residents.  Isn’t it  a Comedy if we don’t find for it a remedy?

Don’t say,  operation is success but patient died! “  First, say NO to industries that produce plastics .  “Live without plastics, or die with plastics. “ is what Times Now says now.  Why go to shops empty-handed!  Why can’t carry cloth bags or jute bags that can reduce your sin of embracing plastics?  Why can’t teachers and social reformers turn into social Bhudhas to enlighten people with this awareness? Charity begins at home.  As an individual,  what are you going to do now?

Assessment :
The first paragraph analyses the issue while the second one offers some solutions. 
What is the main idea of the paragraph?  The consequences of using plastics and solutions.
What is the topic sentence of the first paragraph? To think of plastic-free world is a joy for ever. The second sentence says why plastic-free world is necessary . The next two sentences explain the consequences. The last sentence in the first paragraph insists the urgency for finding a solution and thereby being a concluding sentence and at the same time making a link to the following paragraph that talks about solution.

Instead of asking people not to use plastics (in the way asking people not to smoke),  the government has to close and seal the factories  that manufacture plastics.  This is implied in the first sentence of the second paragraph and explained in the second sentence.  Then other solutions are given one after another but in rhetorical questions which carry answers within.   Are the ideas not developed in an impressive way here driving home the points discussed ? Apparent use of linkers may not be necessary sometimes, if the coherence is not missing.

When the paragraph was given to another group of teacher -trainees and asked for feedback,  they gave something similar to the following :
1.There is relevance to the structure and content.
2.Linkers  are not used.
3.The topic Sentence or ideas are not developed well.
4.It’s written in an enjoyable way but there is no coherence.

What’s your feedback for this feedback?

Try to find answers in general for the following :
1.When do we assess our students- during the process . Progress or after the product of writing,   especially in evaluating assignments and test papers?

2. Is evaluation itself a myth?  If TRB that assessed the knowledge of literature of English faculty is reconducted now for those who got selected in 2006, will they score the same?   After 12 years,  they are supposed to halve more knowledge and experience as a teacher. Then why does evaluation system fail here?  If the evaluation score and your certificate is valid only for a particular period of time,  as told for IELTS, what is the value of 10th, +2, diploma and degree certificates?  

3. Is the knowledge of the student evaluated or his skill?  If we evaluate  both knowledge and skills,i.e, both in theory and practical exams,  why do most of students pass practical exams but have many arrears in theory exam?  Do they have skill without knowledge? The student who passes English practical exam fails in English theory exam.  Does it mean that he had communication skills but no knowledge of grammar or English? If English is not a knowledge,  but four skills,  why should we have two theory exams for English? Is evaluation a myth?